So What If?

So what if all my life I've been working very hard to top the pecking order if what others are only willing to see are my flaws?

So what if I've been spending most of my time all cooped up in my room doing just the most unexciting thing ever if others are only able to see how uneventful my life has been?

So what if I've tried so relentlessly comforting myself when all others fail to notice how much I want this?

So what if I really want something so badly when none of them are willing to give me a chance?

So what if I've never surrendered to my viciousness and my jealousy when people around me have never failed to live better, attain more and excel further than me?

To God, to my peers, my educators and potential employers - they who have the power to give and enable, whom I have never been visible to.

I apologise for being so ordinary.

I apologise for taking my life too seriously.

I apologise for not trying to be entertaining.

I apologise that my achievements fall off the radar so quickly.

I apologise for not being better than the others.

I apologise for my monotony.

I apologise I couldn't do any better.

I apologise for not being memorable.

I apologise for not knowing what's so incorrect and ill-fitting about me.

Now... can You start giving me what I want?