Nothingness.

Doing nothing actually makes you fat. No, to be precise, having nothing to do makes one fat. And I am a living proof to that theory.

Esteem Redeemed (Continued).

So! The results were out and I scored ... Very thrilled with the sight of it on my computer screen, a far cry from how it looked last year, same time. I was contented with the evasion from having to revise and revisit the same thing all over. The scores could have been better, I reckon. It would have eased the intensity I couldn't help but to encounter the rest of this and next year. I was pleased with my result, not least to say. The mere thought of having to endure the devastation I was drowned into last year was a nightmare I feared would materialise one day and injected chills into my glands of fear. Failure would only magnify vulnerability in the weak. Only the strong, tough, passionate ones could turn that into a source of strength. But I am no strong, tough nor passionate. Neither am I smart (I used to arrogantly think I am), bright or intelligent. I am just a hardworker often left lurking, praying for outcomes worthy a compensation for the effort I invested in.

So, thank me that I could kick start the second half of the year on a decent note. Not a bright, sparkly one but a decent one.

Attached.

Completed my attachment 2 weeks ago but was just plain lazy to write about it. I dreaded going to work from Day 1, in anticipation of cold colleagues and arduous tasks. But the people there proved me wrong. The people were as nice as any kind people I have seen in my life. They were just plain nice, downright friendly. It had always felt like a home in the chambers, a place we played, brood, joked, bantered around and getting right down to the business. The duration settled very little on my future path but it mattered very little, really. It's the people and the warmth which I learnt and that was all it took to assuage me.

My mentor was however, an exception (along with the silly, often joke-of-the-day Mr.Ong, the IT guy) to that general notion. He was distant and a tinge of sarcasm could be detected from his mild chuckles and naughty smirks. Somehow I have a feeling that he did not take me seriously as I look like a kid (particularly with my overhanging bangs). But that will be plunged down easily into the lost memory storage somewhere in my brain by the greater and happier things I experienced during my time there.

The final day of my attachment can be summed up with one word - poignant. I (and the other attachees) begun our final day like any other normal day we would - breakfast in the 7th floor, chatting time in the chambers and just fooling around. 2 of the attachees were busy snapping photos of memories. And we spent most of our time clicking away in the Solitaires and Zombies vs Plants. We were caught red-handed by Mr.Ong - that was perhaps the only ordeal we encountered that day. But when the time to say goodbye came, it struck me that I am leaving that this is the end. The hugs, handshakes, wishing 'good luck's and 'all the best's made the emotion deep down inside more grueling than ever.

And it was raining! Not perhaps the best weather to endure when you're in heels but it's got to be the best farewell gift the heaven can break for your last day at work. My umbrella was shared with another attachee and together, we four braced through the culminating rain with Jack screaming all-across about the damp weather and his soaked shoes.

The monorail ride was egregious - huge crowd, a blend of furious, impatient and forceful folks but it was fun to be sandwiched among them and don't ask me why. It was inexplicable. In my dad's car, a song was playing. I have no clue of the singer nor the title but the chorus contains a line which goes, "nothing compared to you". The traffic on the road was equally bad but it was perfect because it allowed me to reminisce over the beautiful 2 weeks of my attachment I underwent and it was truly nothing compared to that. Thank you SLB! I wasn't lying when I told my mentor that I had a great time attaching there. I really did!

Esteem redeemed.