One Of Those Days

Lately, I've just browsed through my diary, and guess what? I found an interesting piece of thing I wrote down. And there was a surge of intention to share it you guys. Here it is:

SORRY FOR THE TEARS
When her tears rolled down her smooth cheeks, I said to myself, oh no, I've screwed up ... again. Why am I so foolish enough to activate her tear glands? Nevertheless, if I did not witness that with my own pair of eyes, I really have no idea that I am not the only one in my class who is in agony and despair. In fact, there are several people who are even worse. Once I received my Bio papers, I shut my eyes and said, oh no. At that moment I just hope that the papers will vanish once I reopen my eyes but no luck, the papers are still lying down proudly on my desk. When I unfolded my papers, it proves that my instincts before this have never been that precise before because I hit a bulls-eye this time. I got a very, very below-par mark. I was quite disappointed and wandered around asking others how they fared to see where I stand in the pecking order. The following incident proved that luck has never been on my side ... once again. I went to S T, doing something which little did I know that I will regret for a very long time if not for a life time. She was explaining to me why she got awarded such a low mark. While she was fretting over her mistakes, she couldn’t restrict her tears anymore. And the thing that made me feel like I am a murderer was, she actually apologized for her tears. I was clueless of what to do. I just kept silent and I can only spit this out here.
I reckon that we are all like a bunch of rats. We tussle and struggle just to achieve what is being called as a passport for our future. If we do not do well in our SPM or in any other major examinations, we basically would not have a future. The problem is that, after knowing that the reality always judges us based on a piece of paper which has a few letters on it, we try our very best or even the most impossible to study, we still receive a word at the end of the day – DISAPPOINMENT. Why, do we always get that as a result instead of bright smiles? Why,
do we always need to bare with teachers' frustrations? Why, do we always need to stand our parents rigid looks? Why, do we always need to assume that we did not work hard enough and have that stereotype that we need to try harder, need to put in more effort, need to pour in more sweat, need to burn more midnight oils, need to sacrifice more blood in order to achieve the so-called "flying colours" in our lives? Sometimes, hard work would just never be justified in our results. There are certain people who will achieve good results even though they did not try as hard as we did. Or, they achieve the same result as us but their years of effort is not as much as our one-day drainage. Sometimes, I really do wonder if the God has eyes or does He practice justice. So, instead of dwelling on these questions, I'll just harbour a glimmer of hope that He will sprinkle an tiny bit of luck and bless during the course of SPM. Hoping that he will spare us little bit of mercy and justify all the hard work and tears that we have been sucked of, on all of us especially S T, J, and S M, myself and of course, the people who sacrificed scarcely for this paper chase.