One Of Those Days

Lately, I've just browsed through my diary, and guess what? I found an interesting piece of thing I wrote down. And there was a surge of intention to share it you guys. Here it is:

SORRY FOR THE TEARS
When her tears rolled down her smooth cheeks, I said to myself, oh no, I've screwed up ... again. Why am I so foolish enough to activate her tear glands? Nevertheless, if I did not witness that with my own pair of eyes, I really have no idea that I am not the only one in my class who is in agony and despair. In fact, there are several people who are even worse. Once I received my Bio papers, I shut my eyes and said, oh no. At that moment I just hope that the papers will vanish once I reopen my eyes but no luck, the papers are still lying down proudly on my desk. When I unfolded my papers, it proves that my instincts before this have never been that precise before because I hit a bulls-eye this time. I got a very, very below-par mark. I was quite disappointed and wandered around asking others how they fared to see where I stand in the pecking order. The following incident proved that luck has never been on my side ... once again. I went to S T, doing something which little did I know that I will regret for a very long time if not for a life time. She was explaining to me why she got awarded such a low mark. While she was fretting over her mistakes, she couldn’t restrict her tears anymore. And the thing that made me feel like I am a murderer was, she actually apologized for her tears. I was clueless of what to do. I just kept silent and I can only spit this out here.
I reckon that we are all like a bunch of rats. We tussle and struggle just to achieve what is being called as a passport for our future. If we do not do well in our SPM or in any other major examinations, we basically would not have a future. The problem is that, after knowing that the reality always judges us based on a piece of paper which has a few letters on it, we try our very best or even the most impossible to study, we still receive a word at the end of the day – DISAPPOINMENT. Why, do we always get that as a result instead of bright smiles? Why,
do we always need to bare with teachers' frustrations? Why, do we always need to stand our parents rigid looks? Why, do we always need to assume that we did not work hard enough and have that stereotype that we need to try harder, need to put in more effort, need to pour in more sweat, need to burn more midnight oils, need to sacrifice more blood in order to achieve the so-called "flying colours" in our lives? Sometimes, hard work would just never be justified in our results. There are certain people who will achieve good results even though they did not try as hard as we did. Or, they achieve the same result as us but their years of effort is not as much as our one-day drainage. Sometimes, I really do wonder if the God has eyes or does He practice justice. So, instead of dwelling on these questions, I'll just harbour a glimmer of hope that He will sprinkle an tiny bit of luck and bless during the course of SPM. Hoping that he will spare us little bit of mercy and justify all the hard work and tears that we have been sucked of, on all of us especially S T, J, and S M, myself and of course, the people who sacrificed scarcely for this paper chase.

Ai Yai Yai

Ever wonder why life is that fascinating? Well, it's simply because we often meet unexpected events. Circumstances which will catch you off guard. My life is loaded with just those. Take a look for an instance from my family affairs - After so many years and decades, little do I know that I'm pretty oblivious about my family members. Not until this very one fine day, my parents, my bro and last but not least, me, sat down in a table. Voracious about food, suddenly, my dad broke into my fantasy of fried 'sotong' and sweet and sour pork. Hmm... yummy! But then, he uttered something which caught my attention despite the boisterous clatters of the culinary tools. He said something about my aunt and my uncle were on the verge of a DIVORCE!!! Oh yeah, that was exactly my response. But, nope. We haven't reached the apex of the story yet, no. Now, this part is the interesting one. Listen attentively. My aunt hired a private investigator to spy on her hubby. I had always thought private investigators only exist in TVB dramas, not in reality. What? Don't the private investigators have anything else better to do? Or rather, if you want to be an investigator, be a police officer. To the least, you can serve the public than destructing others' happiness. To all the private investigators who are reading this, well, the only thing I can say is commisseration for you. And wish you to receive a lighter punishment when karma gets you. Fine, private investigators are so not going to steal my limelight. Back to my story, then my aunt slammed all the proofs (those usual things that you watch on tele - photos of him with a girl who has lesser white hair than him, phone conversation records of him saying "I love you" to the woman and etc. Many other things but I'm simply lazy to spit everything out) on the dinner table and asked him to choose either the bitch, who will get more white hairs than him.... one day, or her, the woman who has pledged her allegiance to him for goodness sake an umpteenth years, established a healthy and happy family and makes soups he can't live without. On that very night as well, she took her two kids ( who are of course, my cousins) to a hotel and stayed there for a night. And of course, panicked for losing a family, he finally left that old popo-to-be and sticked to his status quo (a supposedly good and responsible husband and father).
I think in the end, what amazed me the most is the grittiness one has to safeguard their loved ones or something that means a lot to one. I reckon this is the quality that all of us have (if you think you don't have, perhaps you'll have it at some stage of your life) to defy the odds. I mean, my uncle ditched a beautiful lady because he knows, the ones whom he truly cherish is his family (blood is thicker than water). And that's why life cannot be sketched on papers alone and foresee it to be borne out in precision to that. That's how fascinating life is, rich in unconceivables. And for your information, my uncle and aunty are currently living happily ever after with their kids. Though, at times they'll have a mild debate over who is supposed to wash the plates and bowls.

HOORAY!!!

Wow... possessing things which is completely yours, is the greatest thing that could ever happen to me. Agree? Well, I am never an avaricious girl, but having 100% control of it is really fun. At the same time feeling guilty though. Being an elder sister of somebody is never easy. You must set an example for him/her to look up for, in a nutshell, being a role model. Therefore, you must look and act like a noble, magnanimous, generous, kind.... person. Tough huh? Well, besides blaming your mother for giving birth to you first, I can't think of any other better excuse to berate at.

Everyday is a new day

Hmm, today was pretty ordinary. However, I love to discover the extraordinaries from an ordinary day. I observe people all the time - from the bus to the college, from the corridors to the pathway. And that's basically how I could find something different from almost everything that pops up in my life. I don't like to talk a lot. But, once I found a common channel that I could relate with others, I'll talk non-stop. Despite this, I still prefer not to talk simply because I love to listen. I don't know why, but I always reckon that others' conversations are juicier than mine - extra flesh, juice, sauce, spicy, salt, and sweet. Erm... how come it sounds more like food than words........